How Many Calories Do You Burn During the Holiday Season?
In the spirit of holiday season, we're determined to applaud every single calorie you burn while partaking in festive activities, like wrapping presents and making fun of your sister's annoying husband while he's in the bathroom. Go ahead, pour yourself a refill!
Baking Christmas Cookies: 95 Calories Burned
Technically you'll be burning 95 calories if you're standing and walking back and forth to the fridge for an hour, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Factor in your mandatory glass of red wine (baking is like a grown-up drinking game! Sip every time you get anxiety thinking about your "five-year plan.") and the fact that "cooking" consists of slicing a roll of dough with a reindeer face on it and placing one slice on the pan followed by one slice in your mouth and you've basically burned four calories. But four is better than none! (Maybe try these holiday cookies under 90 calories?)
Ice Skating: 381 Calories Burned
An hour of ice skating burns a whopping 381 calories! That's totally legit. But let's be honest—who actually goes ice-skating? It's like the Soul Cycle of Super Lame Holiday Crap you do for Instagram! #candid #TaraLipinski #FeStiViTiEs And if you do, try and tell us you can skate faster than five miles per hour. That's not burning 381 calories. Trust.
Doing Chores For Your Parents: 147 Calories Burned
"Honey, would you mind...." Yes, mom, I would mind, actually. I'd much prefer sitting exactly where I am (the couch), doing exactly what I'm doing (nothing), wearing exactly what I'm wearing (sweatpants). Hey, we've all been there. Just go upstairs, turn on the vacuum for deceiving background noise and continue reading about your favorite celebrity couple in peace, while your mom assumes you're getting the house in tip-top shape.
Avoiding Questions About Your Relationship Status: 337 Calories
Nothing burns fat faster than avoiding uncomfortable questions from your family! "What's that, Aunt Lisa? You're wondering when I'm finally going to settle down and get a real job? Please excuse me, I have to go grab Mom another glass of wine. Oh! Hi, Uncle Richard! No, I'm not still dating Tommy, but I do need to go check out whatever that weird noise in the garage was! Oops, sorry to interrupt your secret cigarette break, Aunt Cath, I'll just be in the basement getting some gifts together." In an hour of running around avoiding the shit out of everyone, you've burned 337 calories. You go, Glenn Coco. (Here, we've got 3-Ingredient Holiday Cocktail Hacks. You're gonna need 'em.)
Chopping Down The Christmas Tree: 318 Calories Burned
Chevy Chase didn't do us any favors by making an annual Christmas tree quest a "family affair," but it does get you good and sweaty. Basically, trekking around in all of your heavy snow gear is the Christmas equivalent of running a mile in a garbage bag. Sweaty, ridiculous and seriously intense—you're burning about 318 cals an hour, and we all know this torture lasts for more than an hour.
Last Minute Gift Shopping: 95 Calories Burned
As in, the only kind of gift shopping. Oops! You accidentally spent all of December buying things for yourself again and now you have to wrestle all the other last-minute-shoppers for whatever decent sale items are left (since you're broke, because you spent all of December buying things for yourself again).
SEE ALSO : THE MYTH OF CALORIES-IN, CALORIES-OUT
Caroling: 64 Calories Burned
Walking door to door singing for a bunch of strangers burns about 64 calories an hour. Drunk belting Backstreet Boys songs with all of your high school friends while drinking your bodyweight in cheap beer burns no calories but is the best thing ever. Tomato-tomahto, right? (Why don't you switch up your routine with a winter workout instead?)